My Life is Falling Apart

Okay - so my life is just fine... but all the things in my life are falling apart.

Here is a list:
1. My Car - currently NOT working.
2. My Computer - always giving me problems!
3. My Remote Control - works most of the time, but sometimes, does not.
4. The Satellite in my Bedroom - my fault cause we never re-hooked it up after switching rooms around... but still NOT working.
5. My Weight loss Plan - okay, this one it totally my fault... but also NOT working!


I need to get my car fixed, buy a new computer, order a new remote and hook up my satellite TV in the bedroom.... maybe after all that I will have lost a pound or two!

Seriously - if anyone knows about modern technology (cause I am a little slow on the uptake in this department) help me out. I need a new computer and really just don't know where to start.... It's been a while since I bought my last computer (hence the major problems) and I'm out of practice and out of the loop.