Mr. Karate Chopper

I found this note in one of our junk spots (you know, the places where all your crap that you don't know what to do with ends up). It's obviously from one of Kirk's former employees, but I have no idea which one. I just thought it was really sweet. So put aside all you know about grammar and punctuation and try to read this. (I'm going to type it exactly as I found it, except that it was all underlined and blogger won't let me do that)

Mr. Karate chopper kirk thankyou for
showing me the valuable lesson of
hard work that's the first step of being
a man always keep your beautiful kids
& wife 1 love. Hope to keep in touch

I just thought it was a really sweet thing to get as a boss. And from another guy on top of that. Mind you, Kirk was not his English teacher, but his boss in the kitchen... but this is one case where the thought really does count.

A Closing Door

A door is closing today. Hopefully another will open again soon.
For those of you who don't know, my husband lost his job. Today is his last official day of working. The entire store closed because the lease was not renewed. So it wasn't due to any fault of his own but never the less, he's out of a job. And we are now a no-income family of four. Boy oh boy, that's scary.

So the job search is on and even though he has had a few leads so far, they haven't amounted to anything yet. Being given only nine (yes, that's 9) days notice that you will no longer have a job, a career, a paycheck... is quite a blow. Not even the standard two weeks. So although he's discouraged, I'm not. Not yet. It takes time and patience to find a good job. Hopefully not too much time.

But we have family to help and support us if the need arises. And there's always savings and collecting unemployment (which neither of us know anything about but will quickly learn I guess). So far we haven't told the kids anything. We've done pretty good at talking in code and hiding the stress of the situation from them. But after today they just might notice somethings up when Papa doesn't head off to work every day. I guess we can say he's on vacation. But after a few weeks or months of being home (which hopefully it won't come to) they might catch on... The jig will be up... especially for Nola, she's a smart one. How do you explain that to a kid? Not that she'd even know to judge him... but in my opinion it's just not something they need to even concern themselves with. That's our job (unpaying as it may be) to hold that weight on our shoulders. I'm actually looking forward to having him home a little more for a while. For purely selfish reasons... like having more personal freedom...

So if anyone out there in the St. Louis area knows anyone who knows anyone who might know someone looking for a management position in the restaurant field, you feel free to let me know!

The Mister

Took some pictures of the Mister the other day. Getting ready for work. I just think he's mighty nice to look at and thought you might want to see too. That's all.




Ain't he purdy? Looks like one a dem fellers on the TeeVee!

My Husband's Gift

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and my husband got a great gift. Not for me... we decided not to sped money on stuff this year. And, no, I didn't get him anything either. Not exactly. See, I've been keeping a secret from him for about 8 years now (as long as we've known each other). And yesterday I let him in on the secret.

He got home from work late last night, around 11:30pm. As we were talking about his day he told me that a girl he worked with pinched his nipple (through his shirt of course). What!? Then he told me how several of the ladies, or whores as he calls them, slap his ass from time to time at work. Apparently they've told him he has a nice rear end. He says he always tells them to stop but sometimes they just won't. And he's the boss!
He said, "Do you think I have a nice ass?" to which I said, "I don't think I have to tell you that, since you apparently get to hear it all day at work..." He does.
Then he told me how all the girls at his regular store (he's working in another store for 2 weeks to help out) were sad to see him go. They asked him what they were going to do without their "eye candy to look at everyday"...

I jokingly asked him if I needed to go kick someone's ass at his job! Then he said that there was a lady at his regular store who helped him out by fending off all the other girls when they start to flirt with him. Well, that's good to know, I thought. "Yeah, she tells everyone that I'm her man and that no one is allowed to touch me because I belong to her!" Wait a minute! That's not exactly helpful! "But she never touches me!" We joked a little about this whole thing. Honestly I'm not worried about this kind of thing... he has no clue, or so I thought.

"So, honey..." he said at the end of the conversation, "I guess the ladies really like me. Don't you think that's weird? I think I must be a hot commodity! Do you think I'm really that good looking? I just didn't think I was that good looking."

And that's when I had to tell him...

"Yes, honey, you're really that good looking. I've always known it. And I've always known that you didn't. I was keeping it a secret and hoping you would never figure it out!" Then I had to remind him of how we met....
"We used to work together remember? I used to be one of those girls who flirted with you at work. I used to sit around and talk about you with the other female employees. I had to beat out several other girls for you - but I WON!"

Smiling, he asked, "What did you all say about me?" So I had to tell him the story of how we all - ALL - used to stop what we were doing at work when he left to go home. It was like that Pepsi commercial with that construction worker guy that stopped all the ladies from working so they could crowd the window to watch him drink his hot sexy Pepsi... sortof. He didn't remember anything about his leaving work... so I reminded him. "You used to go out the side door, and by the time you reached the windows where we could see you, you would take off your shirt as you were walking to your car. All you had on was your 'wife-beater'. Then you would light a cigarette, take a long drag and blow it out as you were pulling out your ponytail. You would look up and shake your hair out and then walk to your car. You were hot, and we all used to watch you go everyday."

"So I'm hot?"
"Yes, dear, you're smokin hot... I didn't want to have to tell you the secret, I hoped you'd never figure it out. But now you know.... Happy Valentine's Day."

A Day at the Park

Yesterday we went to the park with the kids and my sister and her family. It was beautiful weather and we had lots of fun. Here are a few pictures... and some Photoshop fun.


Allyson & Nola sliding together



Nola sliding alone, "I did it!"



And a rare picture of me and the Mr. ... taken by Cayce.
Now that things have calmed down somewhat (as far as new baby crap goes) it's a shame the weather will be cooling off so quickly. The older kids can take it but it's not as much fun to take a newborn out into the crisp air too often or too long. This is the same park that we had Nola's first birthday party in. It's a beautiful park. I'm sure we will spend more time there in the future.

"Bump" in the Night

I was asleep by 10:30 last night. Pretty normal for me. I was awake again by 12:30 to pee... also pretty normal. Kirk wasn't home from work yet, the house was still quiet and dark and there were no piles of his stuff all over. So I went back to sleep.

I heard him come in around 1am or so. He eventually went downstairs. He had a NetFlix movie I knew he was going to watch. I barely woke up for this, and was asleep again quickly.

I was awake again around 3am to pee again (yeah - being pregnant RULES!) The house was quiet and dark upstairs and so back to bed I went. I had my eyes closed and was drifting back off to sleep when that familiar Windows noise rang through out the living room. You know, the noise your computer (if you run on Windows) makes when you turn it on or off... the sing songy "Da Daa Da Daaaa." My eyes popped open. My computer is in my living room and no one else was.... right? So I layed there and watched as the colored screens lit up the house. Eventually it stopped and I guess the computer just restarted for no reason. Either way, it scared the crap out of me - but not enough to make me get out of bed... I went back to sleep.

Of course I was up again at 5am to pee - Go bladder Go! What actually woke me up this time was that my hip and leg were numb. This has been happening lately while I sleep. I don't get it - you're supposed to sleep on your left side when you're pregnant (which I do about 1/3 of the time, the right is just more comfortable). But now, every time I sleep on my left side my hip hurts and my leg starts to go numb. I've been feeling heavier down low lately - maybe the baby is dropping. His head may be pushing on a nerve or something. I just roll over (which is no easy thing anymore!) and go back to sleep.

Then at 6:30am I hear the tweet and twitter of Kirk's cell phone alarm clock. He's trying to get up to go to his morning Aikido class... which usually results in us waking up and him sleeping through the noise! SO I picked up the house phone (which I keep by the bed these days just in case) and called his cell phone, "Wake up, quick - Don't wake the baby!" So he got up and made all kinds of noise (why can't men be quiet?). Nola woke up and started her normal gibber jabber as he walked out the door, of course. She goes through her list of who she knows and where they are...

Papa, Ai-Keedo!
Mama - Aikeedo, NO!
Mama - Night Night, uhh huhh!
Cee-Cee, Bye bye!
Salison, Cee-cee's House!
Maw Maw, Bye Bye!

Eventually she starts in with either 'Mama, Are You?' (which means where are you and come get me), or 'Seee Mama!' (which means I want to see mama now, come get me). We were up by 7am. Not too bad, except that she was up late last night and I was hoping for a 7:30 or 8 o'clock get up time.

So there were lots of 'bumps' in the night around here! How did you sleep?


This is what she insisted we do to her hair this morning....

Fireworks Display

Well - we had a toddler friendly Independence Day celebration at my sister's house. Kirk and I went out and bought some cheap crappy fireworks for the kids to watch, and the bigger kids (Kirk & Scott) to play with. We started out grillin up some grub.
Kirk and Nola doing their thing (dressed alike thanks to him):


After we ate the girls waited patiently for the show to begin


Nola played with an unlit sparkler


Allyson posed for a portrait


The show started out with 'black worms' and a hen that 'layed eggs'... both were a little lame if you ask me.



The crowd waited through the smoke in anticipation...


And then the colored smoke bombs started. The girls were yelling out the colors and then saying goodbye to them as they burned out, "Bye Bye Purple!"


And the Grand Finale - sparklers, poppers and flares. Some of the pictures looked like we were just setting the house on fire, others looked like a welding project...


And the evening ended with Allyson's very first sparkler on her own...


Happy Birthday America!

Ode to Seagal (aka Kirk's trip)

So Kirk is now home from California. He had a lot of fun and spent a lot of time training with Seagal and his fellow Aikido people. They actually had their classes at Seagal's house, out on the lawn. He said it was really neat. Of course he didn't take any pictures of him, he said it was because the only time they were with Seagal, they were training. I guess you can't do Aikido with a camera strapped to your neck? I would have tried! BUT - they did take some group photos which we don't have back yet. And one of Kirk's group took pictures that she promised to send to everyone at some point. (So hopefully there will be pictures to some)


Basically they arrived on Friday, trained until late and went out to eat at a $27 buffet! Woke up Saturday and trained, broke for lunch and then trained some more. Sunday they had black belt testing (Kirk is not to that level yet) and then went to Venice Beach. That night they went to Denny's to party it up and say goodbye... until next week when they all show up in class together.... and apparently Denny's was more like a bar than a restaurant, it served alcohol and had video games. Then he flew home.

This is what I learned about Steven Seagal:
1. He really does speak fluent Japanese
2. He really does still do Aikido, and is good at it
3. He has recently become an 8th Dan - not 7th, like you will see on the Internet (which just means he's an even better black belt)
4. He talks really gruffly and does some sort of grunt thing
5. He's really a nice guy
6. He has records out there - as in singing and playing guitar - umm... yep.


So now Kirk's home, back with a few souvenirs and a suntan. He bought Nola a cute T-shirt with Disney characters on it that says Los Angeles:




And apparently when he jumped into the ocean at Venice Beach he stepped back out into 1993 to buy a souvenir for himself.... To your amazement and my own they still make these things... and Kirk bought one. I don't think he will ever leave the 90's!




I told him it should be illegal to own and operate such a garment... and Photoshop will agree with me!

The Captain Lives!

Enough Said!

Well - Kirk is now sporting a lovely new eye patch - Walgreen's: $6, if you want to also go for this season's pirate look. His eye isn't exactly getting any better and I guess we're gonna have to make a Dr.'s appointment for next week. Hopefully it improves over the weekend. Or at least before he goes to CA.

Oh, did I mention that he is going to California next weekend (well, for 4 days)? He's going with his Aikido class. I guess you call them a class.... the guys he trains with. His Dojo, Three Rivers Aikido, is affiliated with Steven Segal... yep Steven, too old to be in action movies, Segal. I hope I don't get in trouble for saying that.... Anyway - they are going to CA to train with Segal. I know he will have fun, I just hope his eye injury doesn't get in the way..... He will take pictures while he's there. Maybe he'll get a picture of himself and Segal in an eye patch! That would be cool!

Pirates and Diapers

Well - Kirk now has a giant eye! And he's off to buy an eye patch. Ahoy There! I will ABSOLUTELY include a picture of that if he lets me take one! Here's what his eye looked like this morning:

But I think he's forgiven Cutie Pants.... How could you resist that face?

Here she is giving her best performance of "Sorry Papa!" I'm not sure he's awake yet...

In other news, it may be time to potty train... as if I need something else to put on my plate! BUT - you gotta do what you gotta do. Might as well strike while the irons hot. She's been telling me that she needs new diapers when they get full. And she will sit on her potty seat (all clothes and diapers on) and say pee pees, and make a pisssss sound.

This morning she told me, "New diaper, Mama." I didn't think it was much of an emergency, I told her we would change her diaper in 5 min. and went into the kitchen to get something to drink. When I came back into the living room she was standing there with no diaper on, first time she's ever taken it off herself, and pointed to it on the floor. "Gucky, Mama.... new diaper?"

So I guess we need to step up our game and start something more than pretend pottying....

Hospital Day for Mama Nae & Papa K

Well - it seems we will both be spending time in a hospital today.

I went this morning for my regular bi-weekly maternity check-up. Everything is A-OK with me and baby Logan. My OB said he is measuring perfectly, right on track... I asked if she was sure he wasn't already a toddler... she said no. I also asked if I would have to have an IV in while in labor (which I do NOT want so I can have more freedom and mobility, not to mention not so quick decisions made for me on the spur of the moment). At first she said yes because I had Group B Strep with Nola (which requires 2 IV doses of antibiotics during labor to ensure the health of the baby) and with subsequent children they treat you for this whether you have it or not... in other words, I won't even be tested for it this time, just treated. But then I told her I didn't want to have to carry the IV pole thing around with me and couldn't they give it to me in another form? (Which I have seen done on TV, Thank you very much Discovery Health Channel.) She said no... hummmm... is she lying?
But she did say that I can get whats called a Hep Lock (sp?). Which is basically an IV starter... It's in my vein but not connected to anything until they need it. That way I can get hooked up for the antibiotics, and then I'm also ready to take whatever else I may need if the case arises. I'm cool with that. So all in all, a good visit to the hospital for me.

So.... while I was gone my wonderfully behaved daughter stuck her finger directly into Kirk's eye. Nola the Destroyer strikes again! I called on my way home and he sounded like he was in tears... I found out later it was just because of the continuous watering of his eye that his nose was running as well. He was in serious pain. On the phone I laughed it off and told him he really needed to learn how to defend himself against toddlers... come on now, he's a grown ass man! But when I got home and saw his eye I realized she must have really gotten him good.
He was so cranky and mad and hostile the rest of the day... like I did it or something. I kept Nola away from him as much as I could... she wasn't his favorite person either. I asked him if he was going to call a doctor.... NO! I have to go to work! And then it dawned on me why he was so mad... NOT because he was hurt or in pain or at either of us... but because he might miss a brief moment of work. I have NEVER met someone in my whole life who dedicates himself to his job the way my husband does. I think he really thinks that it would burn to the ground if he called in. He feels like he has no option - he's scheduled to go in - he MUST BE THERE! OR ELSE!

Well - I told him he needed to call or go see a DR. He wouldn't listen. So I looked it up on WebMD and it said in almost every eye case that you should seek medical attention immediately... so then he listened and asked me to call his Dr. and an Opthamologist. They both said to go to the ER.... So he is there now... waiting, missing work - hee hee hee..... I know it's killing him and for some reason that makes me giggle! I just feel he needs to learn a lesson that life is NOT work and work is NOT your life. He called and is in a much better mood.

This is what I said to him right before we got off the phone, which he agreed with and made him laugh, "I would rather you miss an entire day of work, or even loose your job all together, than loose your eyesight. You can ALWAYS get another job, you can't get another eyeball.... And you have such pertty eyes!"


Update: he has a scratched cornea! Pretty dramatic for a kid's finger in your eye!

SlingBlade Nextdoor!

Have you ever seen the movie Sling Blade? The guy, Billy Bob Thornton's character, can fix anything with a motor.... Well - my husband can break anything with a motor - or a chip, an internal computer, anything that runs off batteries or gets it's power from the wall.... Anything... He has a 'magic' touch.... or he is touched, one of the two! So far I think he has broken two small stereos or boom box type things, two iPods, the CD player in his and my cars, two weed whackers, two push lawn mowers and a riding lawn mower! What a man I married!

We currently are on our second lawnmower (that stopped working this morning), our second weed whacker (which was still not working this season as of this morning), and a completely dead, grass killing, space taking up, riding lawnmower.

Our neighbor has fixed many things for us over the years, helped figure out problems around the house and in general has been our personal handy man and mechanic. He's probably about 85 years old. And it drives Kirk crazy that our elderly neighbor can touch something that his own hands have destroyed on contact and bring it back to life... hee hee hee (makes me laugh every time). First thing he always says to Kirk is, "You got gas in that thing?" ha ha ha!

Well, today alone he fixed our weed whacker (for the second time) and then helped Kirk figure out what was wrong with the lawn mower... then took the riding lawn mower over to his driveway, took it apart, fixed several things inside it, put it back together and started it right up!

I don't know what we're going to do when we move.... I guess we will just have to stay within walking distance from our current neighbors... otherwise we may never be able to keep up with our yard work! I'm now currently trying to figure out what the best gift for them is... He's 150 years old so he has every tool and 'thing' he wants.... but we really should get them a thank you for all their help - any suggestions?

Three Years Ago Today...

It was a beautiful, warm day at Carondelet Park. The wind was blowing just enough and the sun was shining on the lake.

Friends and Family had come from far and wide to see the glorious union of two of the most wonderful people they knew. The ceremony was perfect (except for the fact that the bridal parties were standing on the wrong sides - but maybe nobody noticed). The food was great (or so I heard, I don't remember). And the bathrooms - well, that could be a whole other post... Oh the bathrooms.... if you were there, you know.

But the first dance was so nice (and only lasted for an hour or so...)

And the cake cutting was so sweet (especially when the groom ate his own piece without knowing the tradition of feeding his new bride first).

But all in all it was a wonderful day (hopefully no one noticed the cigarette burn in my veil that was there even before the ceremony started!)

And three years later I am still happily married to the man I love. Maybe next year, on our anniversary, I WON'T be pregnant! Won't that be different!?! (2 out of 3 so far I have been knocked up)

Happy Anniversary Day to you all.

House of Fools!

Ok - first I would like to say that I am no delicate flower.... I can take a lot of gross before I get offeneded. I don't shy away from blood and guts, cussing or dirty jokes... Obviously I'm female but I'm certainly no 'Lady.' Well, at this particular lunchtime, I met my match!



We sit in this order: Papa, then Allsyon, then Mama, then Nola... in a circle around the table, adult/child/adult/child. In other words, I'm surrounded.



So we were eating, I think we were almost finished and Nola (the beautiful little lady that she is) farted. I would like to have used the word 'tooted' or even 'pooted' because they seem like the more appropriate words to use for a little girl doing such things... but what Nola did doesn't fit into the perameters of those words. She farted. Like a grown man with no social qualms at all.... it was gross. And even though we were at home with no one else to witness this, I was embarassed. I think I actually gasped. Kirk asked, "Was that HER?" And, as if to answer him, she let out a peal of squealing laughter.



This made Allyson laugh so hard that she burped up some food. Now, mind you, we are all getting over colds so both girls are already little snot monsters who have no concern with what is lurking on their faces. But when you go into fits of laughter, coughing and burping... well, lets just say, "it all comes out". The Kirk started laughing at the girls and making disgusting noises as well (we'll just leave it at that since he's a grown man with a job and somewhat of a reputation to uphold outside our lovely home).



I really couldn't believe how appalled I was. Ok - so I'm pregnant and things do get to me a little quicker these days, but I was really grossed out. They were all being repulsive and cracking up about it.... I wanted to scream.

Finally I had had enough... "OKAY - STOP! You are all acting like little boys! What is wrong with you people?! These are little girls - not Monkeys!"



For a brief moment there was glorious silence.....



Then it started... "Oooh Ooooh Ooh, Haaa Haaa Ha! OOh Haa Haa!" and more laughing. (those were monkey noises in case my spelling didn't convey the sounds) I just got up and walked away. A House of Fools I tell you - FOOLS!