Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to Me
Happy Mother's Day to Me
Happy Mother's Day Dear Janae
Happy Mother's Day to Me!

Had a good day today. Really. Didn't start out too well though...

Usually Kirk works on every holiday know to man, but he was off this one. I woke up with the kids. He tried but couldn't resist the snooze feature on his cell phone alarm clock. And ironically ended up waking the kids up earlier than they would normally have risen due to his alarm. The thought counts here, according to him. Not to me. I knew he wasn't going to wake up with them and was planning to get up anyway - wish he wouldn't have set his alarm at all. So my Mother's Day started around 6:15. Whoopie!

So around 9 he gets up (because I asked him to). He got me a card, a bottle of wine, a bag of beef jerky and a balloon on a stick. The balloon part has become somewhat of a tradition with us for some reason, probably because they are readily available at Walgreens (as are cards and wine and beef jerky). But this year I assumed he would get two - they really aren't for me even though they say Happy Mother's Day on them. But no, just one. Can you guess what instantly happened? One balloon, two kids. The Battle of Mother's Day began. Within five minutes of crying, screaming and hearing 'mine' a thousand times the balloon was now a two part balloon. No one was happy.

So once the Balloon War was over and we were all calm (oh, I chose not to open my card upon receiving it because I was mad and didn't want to come off completely ungrateful) we tried to figure out what to do with our day.
I asked Nola what she thought we should do and she said, "Go somewhere."
Where? I asked her what she thought I would like to do, where I would like to go?
She said, "Well, Mama, you like to clean the house."
What else?
"You like to make us all food."
Ha ha ha... What else?
"You like to plant stuff."
Well, you got one out of three! Where should we go?
"Home Depot! They have plantin stuff there!"
Sounds good to me. (I needed tomato cages)
"Can we go after that to somewhere and look at lots of toys?"
Maybe...

So we went to Home Depot, then to Target. I also needed new underwear. Then out to eat at El Maguey - Yum Yum Yummiest! (still have leftover tamales for later!) Then home. And then it started to get really good! Kirk watched the kids and I got to do yard work. All by myself! With no little helper, and no littler helper! I actually got all my plants planted! Now he's giving them a bath and I'm blogging about my day (with a glass of wine). So all in all it was a very good Mother's Day.

Recap of what I got:
a very sweet and funny card (which I read later when I was in a good mood)
a bottle of wine
a balloon on a stick
a bag of beef jerky
tomato cages
new underwear
and (last but not least)
free time!

They Grow Up So Fast...

You know your kids are growing up when:
You still buy baby wipes but they are now mainly used at the dinner table, not the changing table.
Your one year old wears a size 5 in diapers.
Your one year old wears a size 3T in clothes.
Your 3 year old wears a size 4-5T.
Your 3 year old stops wearing pull-ups and sleeps in underwear.
Your kids get into their own car seats.
You no longer use high-chairs.
You no longer use bibs.
You no longer use bottles.
You don't care so much when other people talk about their babies rolling or sitting or crawling, cause you're SO DONE WITH ALL THAT!
You get to start throwing away all kinds of toys, justifying this to the kids by saying they are 'baby toys'.
Your 3 year old no longer fits into the front of the grocery cart.
Your one year old barely fits into the front of the grocery cart.
You're told dinner looks, "Diss-guss-ting!"
You hear the phrase, "Whatever!" (from a 3 yr old!)

You know they will always be your babies when:
You start to hear unprompted, "I love you"s.
They wake in the middle of the night, and they still need their Mama.
They still fall asleep on you like infants.
They are sad, and they need their Mama.
They are hurt, and they need their Mama.
Kisses still fix tears.
They are excited, and you're the first one they tell.
They are proud, and they want you to know.
You hold them, and they hold you back, as if their lives depend on that connection.

I love my babies.
(They were good today)

Big Girl Bed

Things have gone really well since we converted Nola's crib into a toddler bed. I was terrified of the change (as I usually am with any change) for no reason.

Day One, Friday: Converted the crib before nap time. Nap time was not good. It took us more than two hours to get her to sleep... and with a 3 hour limit on nap time we had to wake her up after 45 min of sleep. I was not looking forward to bed time at ALL! Kirk's mom came by that evening for a visit. Around 7pm we were all sitting around the table on the patio while Nola ran circles around the yard. I was hoping the exercise would ensure better success at bedtime... And in the middle of a casual conversation about summer time visits to Grandma's house Nola ended up asking to go that night. Grandma said yes, a bag was packed and off she went! So no rough evening for Mama, Yeah! But I was a little upset because that was one less evening of getting used to the crib with Kirk home as my backup... (he was off for four days, which was why we planned the crib conversion as we did. oh well)

Day Two, Saturday: Nola was with Grandma through her nap time so we didn't have to deal with bed-escape yet again... but again, one less opportunity to transition with backup on hand. We were so busy all day, and apparently so were Nola and Grandma. She slept for an hour in the car going here and there, but no real nap. When we got home we had the Maue's over for birthday cake and run around the backyard time. They left and we bathed the kids and put them to bed. We've started reading her books on the floor in front of her bed so that there is little to no escape route or distraction before getting directly into bed. There were about 2 exits on her part, one to "tell you someting" and the other to "go pee pees". But she slept in bed the rest of the night (or so I thought)...

Day Three, Sunday: It was after 7am and she wasn't up yet... This is late for Nola. So I went into her room to wake her up, plus I wanted to see her sleeping in her new bed, only to find her asleep on her floor. Not right alongside her bed, but diagonal across the middle of her room. It was cute. I asked her if she fell out and she said no. Later that day she said she had fallen out but that it didn't hurt. I'm pretty sure she wasn't aware that she could just get back in. So we went over that a couple of time. That day there was also no naptime. We had plans to be out and I had planned on her skipping nap time. But bedtime went good again. Books in her room, then into bed. Out only one time, claiming to "haff to go pee pees" and then in for the night (or so I thought)...

Day Four, Monday: It was almost 7:30am again and she wasn't up... So I went in to wake her. She was in her bed! Awweee.. big girl! But after talking to her and praising her for a few min she told me that she did in fact fall out of her bed during the night, but she got back in this time! That day was also the first time we had a real nap time in the big bed, after the first day. She did pretty good. She got up a few times but then stayed in her bed for over an hour sleeping. She only got up when she heard Kirk getting in the shower, it shares a wall with her room. Bed time that night was all me! Kirk was at Aikido class. It wasn't easy but after about 2 extra books, 4 extra stories (the kind I just make up and tell her while she's in bed) and 3 extra songs... she stayed in bed. And it was another successful night (or so I thought)...

Day Five, Tuesday: (actually very late Monday night: 2:30am) Loud booming thunder and a screaming Nola! She didn't get out and come get me, just yelled "MAMA" from her bed. So I spent an hour talking to her, telling her stories, explaining that the thunder wouldn't come in the house and that, no, I couldn't make it be quiet for her so she could fall back asleep. I finally gave in and got a pillow and a blanket and laid down on her floor. Then I heard Kirk awake and traded placed with him. I figured he would get her to sleep within 15 min because the storm was passing... But the next morning when Logan and I woke up they were both on her floor asleep together. Very cute! I let them sleep in. Nap time went good again and bedtime was okay too. She got up again to "go pee pees". And I told myself for the third night in a row, 'ask her to go BEFORE she gets in bed...'

Day Six, Wednesday - Today: Naptime went great. She slept for almost 3 hours! Bedtime was great too. And I remembered to have her go to the bathroom BEFORE she got in bed.... and it worked! She didn't get out of bed at all tonight. Well, not so far...

So overall she has done a great job and I didn't give her enough credit, as usual. It's hard for me to think of her as a real person sometimes... I think of her as a mindless extension of myself. I know that sounds bizarre but that's what she was for so long (I know she had a mind, but you know what I mean). She was an infant, then a baby - no real way to communicate thoughts and opinions and absolutely no self reliance... Now she's human. She walks and talks and even back talks. And she has opinions on things. Things are either 'coool' or they are 'baad'. And she thinks about things... Wow they really do grow up fast. And while I'm really glad I don't have to wipe shit out of her ass anymore, I miss my little baby girl. Good thing I had another baby! GO LOGAN!

The Escape Artists

Tonight was a combination of bad luck, a bad mood, and BAD timing! Tonight sucked!

First of all, let me just say it all started with really good chocolate. Cayce came over this afternoon with some mighty fine chocolate. With Kirk's help, the three of us finished off the box. So at dinner time I wasn't hungry. I made the kids some dinner and planned on eating by myself around 8:15 once they were in bed.

So bedtime rolls around and Logan is super tired and cranky. Cranky, tired babies are the worst to get to sleep - the more tired they are, the worse it is. This is a cruel and unusual punishment to parents everywhere. On top of his bad mood he was sick for a few days and has been slightly spoiled by being held too long at bedtime. The past few times I've put him to bed I've had to let him cry himself to sleep (which thankfully had topped out at around 5-10 min). Logan has also learned to pull himself up into a standing position around the house. Tonight, after the couple nights of crying and pulling up onto his knees in his crib, he learned how to stand at the rails. For those of you without crib knowledge this means he can fall out. Until we lower his mattress to the lower level (which I can't do alone and certainly not at 8pm). We were goign to do that today but Kirk was sick and I forgot... So there was no 5 min of crying and then a sleeping baby... it was a matter of making sure he was sound asleep before putting him to bed. That did not happen. Every time I laid him down he would scream and pop up to a standing position. I tested him a little by walking away and watching what he would do... and damned if he didn't lean over. So I couldn't leave him... I wasn't too sure what I was going to do.

But as I was holding my screaming baby and thinking about my options I felt a splash on my feet... then I felt it go down my arm and the side of my shirt... He puked all over me. But then he was silent... What's a mom to do? I stood there with foul smelling vomit on me and kept rocking him. He finally fell asleep! And as I was bouncing and swaying over to his crib I heard a noise. What the hell was that? Then in runs Nola (who should be confined to her own crib in her own room!) saying, "Mama! I'm awake!" Logan wakes up, of course and I was scared shitless! I didn't expect her to be out of her bed. She's never before (until tonight) climbed out of her crib. What horrible timing that she figured it out the same night Logan did! I swear they conspire against me!

After putting her back in bed, not once but twice, and having Logan absolutely refuse to sleep without the threat of taking a flying leap onto the floor I went and found the pack n' play. Nola was in her bed with the threat of a severe spanking coming her way if she got out again and Logan was screaming bloody murder on the floor as I set up his temporary bed. I finally got the stupid thing set up, picked him up to calm him down a little before abandoning him in it, and I heard Nola's door knob turning. That crazy child was out again! I was ready to shush her at the doorway when I heard her open her door, take off her diaper and go into the bathroom to pee. I was furious with her... but really proud at the same time because that meant her potty training was basically complete at that point. I put Logan down before she could get into the room, assuming he would start to cry and I was cool with that. I figured a few min. of crying where he couldn't break his neck and he would be out cold... But the little bastard just looked up at me and closed his eyes. He was out.

I ushered Nola back to her room, put her diaper back on and convinced her that she could not get out again. I told her (which is true and was already planned) that tomorrow she was getting her big girl bed. Why couldn't she have just waited one more night!? And tomorrow we will also be lowering Logan's mattress first thing!

Now, I'm on the computer because I'm not about to turn the TV on and tempt the fate of my sleeping children. And I'm eating popcorn to silence my growling stomach (cause I totally missed out on dinner). I think my massive headache is subsiding due to the intake of food... This sucks. I'm not ready for the 2 1/2 year old to have free reign of the house at night. Or nap time! Shit! I didn't even think of nap time... I really hope nap time works tomorrow. I'm going to bed.




This is a picture from the morning, just awake and still in jammies, having milk and a bottle, watching some good ole Blues Clues together... before they caught the freedom bug and conspired to become escape artists.

What's Eating Me

Well, it seems lately like the all consuming thing in my life is FOOD! That is what's eating me.

I am over weight, have been for some time... so food is constantly an issue. I hate to be that person who thinks about food all the time. I never used to be (maybe that's how I got into this situation in the first place!) But now I'm trying to get back to some familiar form of myself - ie. a skinnier form of myself. So I've started trying to think about the food I eat. I don't enjoy this at all. Especially since you put on top of that the fact that I'm the grocery shopper and personal chef for everyone in my household. I would probably be happy just eating veggies and salads 90% of the time but that wouldn't go over well with anyone else who lives here. I married a meat and potatoes man who want big meals and lots of them. That's fine - except along with that deal comes a wife who eats big meals and lots of them.

Yes, yes, I know I could just NOT eat what he's eating - but that's easier said than done. I do enjoy food - another reason I'm in this situation... And if I've spent half the morning making a lasagna, or enchiladas, or roasting a whole chicken, I'll be damned if I don't get to eat some myself! And yes, I also know I could eat smaller portions... but our lunch meal is the only real meal I eat all day. I skip breakfast (bad, you don't have to tell me). And I usually just make a sandwich or some other type of quick toddler food for dinner when it's just me and the kids. And dinner usually hits around 430 or 5pm.... So by 830 when all the kids are asleep my tummy starts to rumble and I find myself scouring the kitchen for something - anything to eat. Bad habits.... whatever.

Then we have our latest food issue - the 2 year old. I have never had to fight with someone so much just to eat a meal!
"What do you want?"
"peanut butter jelly sanwich"
"Okay, here you go"
"NO! I don't WANT IT!"
Seriously - every meal, no matter what the food, same story. I want this, No I don't, Yes I do, No I don't. THEN DON"T EAT! But it's probably illegal to starve a child. I guess she does drink 3 glasses of milk a day - she can liv eon that until the phase is over... that and crackers. I have to constantly adjust what we eat to create something appealing to her and for what, for her to turn around and push it across the table, or worse, onto the floor. I think I quit. Eat or don't child - you probably won't starve.

And then there's the baby. He is starting to eat real food.... Well, he should be. I'm slcking on that as well. To have to make three different meals at a time is just too much for me. He's still on the babyfood, and that's fine. But I know he could be eating more table food if I would just make it for him. Mushed up veggies, mashed potatoes, maybe scrambled eggs.... Myabe I will just start making all that and calling it "kid food". I could serve it to both kids and whoever eats it gets to eat - whoever doesn't, doesn't!

Maybe I could just quit doing anything else around the house and just cook full time! Salads for me. Steak or Burgers for the husband. PB & J's or mac & cheese for the toddler. And homemade babyfood/table food for the baby! As soon as we've cleared the table I could just start on the dishes and the next meal! I think that's a brilliant plan!

On that note, I have to go make dinner.... Here is a direct quote from now:
"Nola, what do you want for dinner?"
"I want star snacks. I don't want to eat dinner!" (star snacks are the baby disovable puff things that she insists are for her and not her brother)
"What about a sandwich?"
"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. EAT. DINNER!"

Cold Weather Accomplishments

It's been so super cold that we don't have much going on. There's just no way I'm going to take the kids anywhere outside if I don't have to. Nola even had to skip her trip to the grocery store this week. So we've just been working on our growing up skills. Here are a few of our accomplishments in the past week or so:

1. Potty Training is going good - only one accident in four days. Word to the wise - if you have the option of potty training in summer or winter, choose winter. You're stuck inside anyway. Less distractions. I had planned to go out and buy all the supplies to make a big sticker chart with rewards and whatnot... but I waited a few days and never got around to that... and I'm glad I didn't. She's doing it without any bribery (cheaper for me).

2. Logan is now eating baby food. Just green beans so far. And surprise, Fatty likes to eat! I don't even use a bib because none of it falls below his chin. We will move on to some sweet potatoes in a day or so... Big stuff!

3. Nola is also using a regular cup (at the table only to reduce spills). And big people silverware.

4. Logan is almost sitting up, but that big old brain (surrounded by that big ole head) is keeping him from stabilizing himself for more than a minute or so.

5. Nola has learned how to open up the DVD player and switch the movie to one she wants to watch. She can't make it play... but she sure likes to push the buttons.

6. Logan has perfected the motor boat spitting thing with his lips and can now not only spit on you, but spit green beans on you... and he thinks it's really funny.

6. Nola is learning how to draw people.... She can draw the eyes, nose and mouth... even if they aren't in the right place on the face. And she adds ears and hair, which she usually gets in the correct general areas.

So that's our big news for the week. Oh, and I learned nothing. I still eat the same, draw the same, potty the same.... in case you were wondering about me too.

Sick Baby

Logan is sick. I hate having a sick kid. Really hate it! Not only do I just know the germs will soon pass themselves onto the rest of us and I can envision weeks of snot, fevers and coughing... but I hate to worry about him. And with Christmas coming and family coming in town to meet him for the first time... When they're a little older it gets a little easier... You can teach a toddler how to blow their nose, or clean their hands, or tell you if they really feel bad. But a 4 month old just sits there and swallows all the snot their body makes. No nose blowing, so it turns into congestion, sore throat and cough (which is what Logan currently has). I really hate sickness. I wouldn't say it gives me anxiety - but it's pretty close.

It's so sad, when he cried, his voice is hoarse! He can't even talk and he's loosing his voice. Poor little guy! So far he's not too cranky but I have a feeling he won't be letting me put him down much today. And Nola will just love that!

I will be calling his doctor when they open - and honestly, I hope they just tell me what to do instead of asking me to bring him in - I have a doctor's appointment this morning and then Kirk goes to work - so taking 2 kids to the doctor, one actually being sick - What a bunch of FUN!

We Abandoned Him

Last night we needed to go to Toys R Us to buy Nola's birthday present... After a whole day of figuring out the best way to do this we went to Kirk's Mom's house. We stayed for a little bit and then left both kids (at her suggestion) and went to the toy store. I tried my best to get Kirk to hurry up... yeah right! It was a toy store! So after what seemed like forever were on our way back to his mom's house. He called her to see if there was anything we needed to pick up. I heard him say to her, "Are you okay? No? Okay, we'll hurry."

Apparently both kids were screaming! We were supposed to stop at the grocery store for her on the way back. I told Kirk to just drop me off and then he could go by himself to the store. She lives in a condo complex on the second floor... when I got out of the car and started up the stairs I could hear the screaming! Outside and a story down I could hear both my kids screaming! I ran up the stairs and into her door.

Nola ran to me, face red and blotchy, sobbing. I scooped her up and she quieted. But Logan was screaming still. Screaming! High pitched, repetitive screams. He was bright red and puffy faced from all the crying! I then realized that it was the first time we'd both ever been away from him. With Nola it was an event. I was worried and made lists, packed bags, left phone numbers of everywhere I would be, call a thousand times while I was gone.... This time I didn't even know it was his first time! Oh, the poor forgotten second child!

Eventually I got them both calm... and by eventually I mean 30 min! Logan fell asleep and Nola relaxed. I ordered pizza and Kirk returned from the store. Logan woke up from his little nap and was fine. He smiled and giggled and had a bottle. But then I wanted to eat too so I asked Kirk to take him. Well, Grandma offered and I gave him back to her. Instantly Logan started screaming again! This time there was no consoling him. He was crying and wailing and screaming. Kirk took him, nothing. Grandma took him back, nothing. I tried over and over to get him to stop crying, nothing. After a half an hour of non-stop screaming we were all a little freaked out. The loudest noise in the world is your own baby crying. I changed his diaper, took off all his clothes, checked his fingers and toes for hairs, checked him for a rash, examined him all the ways I could think of and nothing was wrong. I knew he was just freaked out.

But then it was suggested that we call the doctor. I said there was probably no need, he was just freaked out because we left him. But after more screaming and having no real answers I told Kirk to go ahead and call. And I know the number by heart but couldn't think of it. I sat there, holding a screaming baby, watching a 2 year old climbing up the side of the bed I had told her 3 times not to do because it was tall and she could fall and I couldn't make that phone number come into my brain! Of all the times to go blank! Then I remembered that I had their card in my wallet. After much discussion with the oncall nurse we decided to just take him home and see if his normal environment would calm him down... if not, the emergency room it would be.

We got home and he was fine, asleep... and slept until 6am! And today - a happy baby he be!

Note to parents and future parents: Don't leave your kids alone for the first time with someone without realizing it and being prepared. Don't leave your 2 year old with your 2 month old when your 2 year old is being a brat. Don't forget to tell Grandma how to make bottles, make them for her. Don't leave without having the babysitter at least hold the kid first... Don't assume because your 2 year old is fine with Grandma that your 2 month old will be A-Okay too.

Sugar & Spice

WARNING: Foul Language to Follow

There are two little girls, sisters, who moved in a few houses down from me. They are the cutest little things. I see them playing in their front yard, holding hands, running through the fallen leaves. I've been seriously tempted to get out my camera and try to secretly capture their adorableness. I would guess they are around 5 and 7 years old.

Today I was outside and I heard some yelling coming form down the street. I looked over and saw the two girls, Sugar & Spice, sitting on their steps. Then I heard what I thought was the word 'fuck'. Surely not! So I quieted myself down so I could listen... and here's what I heard:

"I'm gonna fuck you up! Fuck you up!"
"Fuck Fuck Fuck you up!"
Squealing and laughter for s second...
"Mother fucker! You motherfucker!"
More laughter...
"I'm gonna beat your ass! Beat your ass!"
They were running after each other at this point. I'm pretty sure it was only the older one who was cussing like a trucker. The younger one was the squealer.
"Fuck fuck fuck motherfucker, I'm gonna beat your ASS!"
Then the big one pushed the little one and the little one said, "Hey! You pushed me... I'm gonna tell Mom!" So that's what it takes to tattle, a push... Not the stream of profane threats on her ass.
So the older girl says, "I didn't mean tooo..... Don't tell Mom."
"Okay..."
And then, like it was business as usual, "Fuck You!" followed by peals of laughter.

I think I'm in shock... Now I will never let my kids play with them!

My Day

(starting last night)
10:00 pm - go to sleep
12:30 am - wake up to feed baby
1:30 am - go back to sleep
3:00 am - wake to feed baby
4:00 am - go back to sleep
5:50 am - baby wakes up, fed him
6:45 am - toddler wakes up... and starts her day screaming!
8:00 am - wake up husband so I don't go insane, toddler still screaming
9:00 am - husband actually wakes up to help
10:00 am - do all dishes, they were piled up pretty bad
11:00 am - make lunch, with toddler and baby screaming
12:00 pm - baby to sleep, outside with toddler to play
1:00 pm - naptime for toddler, baby wakes as soon as she gets in bed!
1:30 pm - put baby back to sleep after feeding him
1:45 pm - husband goes to work, I fall asleep on couch
2:30 pm - baby wakes up - cuddle with him and sleep on couch together
3:15 pm - toddler wakes up - cranky
3:30 pm - go to sister's house with both kids
5:00 pm - make dinner at sister's house
6:00 pm - eat dinner, toddler refuses and throws fit! Huge fit!
6:30 pm - forced to leave sister's house because of fit!
8:00 pm - toddler to bed, feed baby
8:45 pm - baby to bed
9:00 pm - blogging about how sucky my day was

Anyone wanna babysit?

Out and About

Well - today I went to the grocery store for the first time in over 2 months (no, we haven't been starving, I have been sending the Mr.). I took the bigger kid and he kept the little one. It was nice to go out with just her... But a funny thing happened...
As I was driving away from the house my boobs started hurting. It was like my nipples were a GPS system and I was traveling out of breastfeeding range. I tried to ignore it and eventually it went away. Oh, the power of motherhood.
I keep thinking and telling myself and others that my breastfeeding days are limited and that I'm going to switch completely over to formula... But I keep finding myself with a boob in the kid's mouth! Oh well!

I also went to my sister's house today after the grocery store and before nap time... We had lunch, broke up some toddler squabbles, played outside and discussed our future in craft making and selling. I always seem to find myself dreaming up the next thing I could do to earn income... Ummmm, I'm still broke so I obviously haven't thought up anything great yet! At this point I'm just proud of myself for leaving the house 2ce in one day! Unfortunately the afternoon is still yo come and that is hell time! Both kids need to eat, be entertained, sometimes bathed, paid attention to... AND put to sleep! It's a lot to do by yourself. Little one always seems to need to eat or is crying because he's hungry, when the big one is ready for books and jammies and bedtime. If I had four arms and superpowers it would be no biggie!