My Husband's Gift

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and my husband got a great gift. Not for me... we decided not to sped money on stuff this year. And, no, I didn't get him anything either. Not exactly. See, I've been keeping a secret from him for about 8 years now (as long as we've known each other). And yesterday I let him in on the secret.

He got home from work late last night, around 11:30pm. As we were talking about his day he told me that a girl he worked with pinched his nipple (through his shirt of course). What!? Then he told me how several of the ladies, or whores as he calls them, slap his ass from time to time at work. Apparently they've told him he has a nice rear end. He says he always tells them to stop but sometimes they just won't. And he's the boss!
He said, "Do you think I have a nice ass?" to which I said, "I don't think I have to tell you that, since you apparently get to hear it all day at work..." He does.
Then he told me how all the girls at his regular store (he's working in another store for 2 weeks to help out) were sad to see him go. They asked him what they were going to do without their "eye candy to look at everyday"...

I jokingly asked him if I needed to go kick someone's ass at his job! Then he said that there was a lady at his regular store who helped him out by fending off all the other girls when they start to flirt with him. Well, that's good to know, I thought. "Yeah, she tells everyone that I'm her man and that no one is allowed to touch me because I belong to her!" Wait a minute! That's not exactly helpful! "But she never touches me!" We joked a little about this whole thing. Honestly I'm not worried about this kind of thing... he has no clue, or so I thought.

"So, honey..." he said at the end of the conversation, "I guess the ladies really like me. Don't you think that's weird? I think I must be a hot commodity! Do you think I'm really that good looking? I just didn't think I was that good looking."

And that's when I had to tell him...

"Yes, honey, you're really that good looking. I've always known it. And I've always known that you didn't. I was keeping it a secret and hoping you would never figure it out!" Then I had to remind him of how we met....
"We used to work together remember? I used to be one of those girls who flirted with you at work. I used to sit around and talk about you with the other female employees. I had to beat out several other girls for you - but I WON!"

Smiling, he asked, "What did you all say about me?" So I had to tell him the story of how we all - ALL - used to stop what we were doing at work when he left to go home. It was like that Pepsi commercial with that construction worker guy that stopped all the ladies from working so they could crowd the window to watch him drink his hot sexy Pepsi... sortof. He didn't remember anything about his leaving work... so I reminded him. "You used to go out the side door, and by the time you reached the windows where we could see you, you would take off your shirt as you were walking to your car. All you had on was your 'wife-beater'. Then you would light a cigarette, take a long drag and blow it out as you were pulling out your ponytail. You would look up and shake your hair out and then walk to your car. You were hot, and we all used to watch you go everyday."

"So I'm hot?"
"Yes, dear, you're smokin hot... I didn't want to have to tell you the secret, I hoped you'd never figure it out. But now you know.... Happy Valentine's Day."