Two

She's two. Two whole years old. I still can't believe I have kids sometimes and it's been two years! Two years since I've worked outside the home, two years since I've slept in late, two years since I could truly be selfish. I've been a mom for two years. And like most families, mine has the wonderful tradition of getting to hear your birth story every year on your birthday. At least parts of it. So I guess I'd better start working on mine... Here is what I have off the top of my head:

About two years ago today I was enormously pregnant and overdue. I waited and waited to go into labor but it just never happened. I had a scheduled induction for November 5th at 8pm. We went to the hospital and by 9pm I was in a bed and gown, hooked up to IVs and on Pitocin. They told me I was 2cm dilated when I got there and having contractions (but I couldn't feel them). I think we watched TV for a while. By 10pm or so Kirk was asleep and the contractions had begun. I had my iPod and was listening away to soothing music, drifting in and out all night. By early morning I was in some real pain. My mom came up around 8 or 9am I think... I was definitely in pain by then. And I think I was somewhere around 3 or 4 cm at that point. A nurse came in and I asked when I was allowed to have an epidural. I wasn't begging or anything, I was still doing okay. I assumed it would be several hours before epidural time. She said I could have one whenever I wanted.... and with the next contraction I said okay, now.
After the epidural kicked in it was smooth sailing. Pain wise. But waiting sucked. The hours kept passing by but I wasn't making any real progress. My OB kept checking on me... and started mentioning the possibility of a c-section. I didn't want one. I really didn't want one. So we waited. They had me on this side and then that side, turning like a rotisserie chicken. I sat up, lied down, upped the Pitocin... and I only made it to 5 or 6 cm. Then in the 5 o'clock hour they had me turn over and get on my knees. I was basically on all fours but the bed was positioned so that I was able to lay my head on pillows. Then all of a sudden the machines in the room started to beep. One after the other... lots of beeping. The alarms were going off. My mom and sister and aunt were all there, and kirk of course (there may have been others, I honestly don't remember). The nurses came quickly in and said we were going to do a c-section. It was very rushed but didn't seem like that big of a deal. My mom looked scared... Kirk looked nervous... I was almost excited. Here we go!
They prepped me and Kirk and whisked me off to an OR. Kirk had to wait outside the room while they got me ready. I remember wheeling past my mom and sister on the way in. I think Mom was crying. When Kirk came in the room he asked if I was okay... I asked him if my mom and Cayce were okay... and if he was okay... We were all okay. And then I got scared. I started listening to some of the nurses and it finally hit me that we were in an operating room. And I was about to be cut open. And it was an emergency surgery. Emergency. My baby.... would she be okay? What was wrong with her? What the hell was taking so long? I desperately wanted to see my baby girl. To hear her cry.
When my OB came in I found out her heart rate had dropped and they needed to get her out fast. And they did. It was a blur of noises, smells, pulls and tugs. I was short of breath as they pushed my insides all over the place and then a whole lot of pressure and she was out. It didn't hurt... but it wasn't pleasant. And then the most glorious sound... the first cry. And I turned my groggy head to the side as they were rushing her over to the table and saw her. Nola. My little Nola. She was HUGE! And LOUD! A giant baby who's scream just wouldn't stop. I looked up at Kirk and asked if she was okay. He didn't know. He was holding my hand. I was terrified and tearing up. And then came the first sacrifice as a mother. I needed him to hold my hand and be with me... but I knew that she needed one of us with her. "Go. Go make sure she's okay." He looked down at me and I knew he didn't want to leave me there alone on the table. "Go. It's okay. "
I watched him across the room and tried to listen to what was going on. And it took everything I had inside of me to stay awake. My body and mind were shutting down and I needed to close my eyes... but I knew if I did I would be asleep and I needed to know that the baby was okay. Finally he came back and had her in his arms. She was just fine. Perfect. And then I cried, kissed her face, thought to myself that I couldn't believe something that big had been in my belly, and then fell asleep. I drifted in and out for the next hour or so... And then I was back in my room, people all around... chaos. I was tired, relieved, scared, confused, tired, tired and more tired! But she was born, she was healthy and I was okay.

Happy Birthday Dear Nola!
Happy Birthday Two You!